Accepting Your Personal Value at 30 and Beyond

I am in the last year of my twenties, and generally, this is a huge deal. A lot of women tend to freak out, quite frankly over nothing. Why there is some magically huge age difference between 29 and 30 is something that I don't think I'll ever discover the answer to. But during my twenties, here is what I have learned.

1. DON'T GET MARRIED IN YOUR TWENTIES. I am not ashamed to say this, I was married in my twenties. Twice actually. I know, don't do it. I don't care how long you have been with that person, you're still a kid in your twenties. You're still learning in your thirties even. Date instead, even if it's that one person for ten years. Time tells us how we develop and change as we age. Settling down with one person, just shouldn't happen in your twenties. You hardly know yourself! You've just come out of high school and you are learning the ways of the society and the world. Preparing for the real world, for real. Take the time to learn the things they don't teach you in school about being an adult. Being married is work, it's getting to know another person. And odds are you'll start a family. If you aren't ready, don't do it. Wait, you have time. 

2. LIFE IS LONGER THAN YOU THINK. Check it out, if there are people who smoke and drink until they are over 100 years old, then you have time on this Earth, in your lifetime to do everything you want. Take your twenties to discover yourself. Build a relationship with yourself. Career? Who cares! First off who says you need to do ONE thing for the rest of your life? If you are happy doing what you are doing, you can survive on it, you can live on it and you are aiding in the progression of society or others, then why are you worried? Life is for learning, if you aren't learning you are getting old. You have time even if you have children. As mean as this may sound you are only lawfully accountable for that child until the day they turn 18 years old. Therefore, even if having a family is part of your life goals you still have life to live after those 18 years. You. Have. Time. 

3. TAKE CARE OF YOUR MIND AND YOUR BODY. Again, as mean as it may sound, you CANNOT take care of another human being in any way, shape, or form if you do not know how to take care of yourself first and properly. Since everyBODY is different it is an important lesson to learn what our own bodies need as opposed to what our spouse or even child needs. Knowing yourself will help you to understand and know those close in your life. Not only will you understand better, but your own life will go smoother. Less stress, less medical bills, less drama, more happy, more success, more bliss. 

4. NOT EVERYONE IS MEANT TO STAY IN YOUR LIFE. I have a best friend that has been in my life and I in hers for the last eleven years. First off, knowing anyone that long and growing up as teens together into nearly your thirties, you go through some shit with each other. But not everyone will withstand those rough moments. Not everyone that you meet or that enters your life is meant for you. Some people are on this Earth to  simply watch it burn. Some people are lessons that are short, others are just passing like the wind. All in all this just means that not everyone you meet will stay, will like you, or will even want to be a part of your life. You may be friends with someone for a decade and then something happens and POOF! There they go. 

5. GROWING OLD IS NOT THE SAME AS AGING. Growing old is something that you do when you give in, join the masses and succumb to societal standards. 30 is not old, just like 29 is not a totally ignorant child. You don't magically grow old over night, it is something that happens when we end up at a job we don't like. It will suck the energy and will to go and do the things outside of our means of living that keep us young and happy. If you are a musician then play, play as often as you can and as often as your heart desires. An artist? Draw. Hike. Play video games. Read a book you've never read before. Travel, even through your home state or country to start. Learn a new language. Learn something about the human body you've always wondered about. Keep your brain stimulated and you will age gracefully but never grow old. You can still be a responsible adult while being imaginative and playful for the rest of your life. 

6. FAMILY IS NOT ALWAYS BLOOD RELATED. Family comes in many forms. Just because someone brought you into existence doesn't mean they are good for you either. Sometimes family are those we hold dear and near to us. Being related, makes you just that.... related. Again, not everyone in your life is meant for you. 

I want to say so desperately that I wish I could go back and tell myself these things with a mulligan. But I can't, and therefore I hope that someone coming out of high school or in their early twenties reads this and finds a little relief. Finds some peace of mind. Finds some good advice to relax and let life happen as it will.