"Spot Me Babe!" Some Notes for Gym Couples

         Day after day I see it happen - couples, at the gym. Couples at the gym training each other. Couples motivating each other. Couples dominating each other. Couples fighting with each other. Listen, before you get it in your head that this is a post bashing the couples, just read on please. It is neither bashing or condoning, but rather my observations over the years as a trainer, gym-goer, and coupled partner at one point myself.

WORKING OUT TOGETHER VS. "TOGETHER"
           Going to the gym together as a couple can be fun, exciting, adventurous, maybe even little naughty feeling. But before you go workout together consider a few of things. 

1. Together doesn't mean "together joined at the hip".  I get it, you want to be near each other, hold hands, support, kiss between reps and have fun like the Instagram fit couples with the hashtag of #fitcouplegoals. But, doing the exact same workout, which I see far too often, is not always a good idea. For one, men and women are structured differently in their bodies because we are made for different things. We have different functions in life, different centers of gravity, and different bone structures. While we all need squats  we do not all need to do squats the exact same way. We have different goals, different visions for ourselves therefore we should be treated differently. Likewise, just because you are a couple does not mean that you HAVE to EAT the same things, go places together constantly, do the same activities, or have the same exact circle of friends. You are two different people, eat differently, lift differently, motivate one another, support one another. Your bodily chemistry is not the same as anyone else's on this planet. 
2. Gym time should be "Me Time". What do I mean by this? When you go to the gym your overall goal is more likely than not, to be healthy and fit. When you exercise it can be very beneficial to have a partner to spot you or motivate you to help lift the weight, couples even benefit hormonally from working out together. But what happens when you get to focus on the weight? When you don't have the distraction of another person there? What if you were able to actually work on your body the way that you need to without your significant other standing directly behind or next to you during your lift to make sure someone across the room knows who you belong to? I cannot tell you how many times I have seen this in my own gym with the same three couples over and over and over again. Please stop, it's very creepy and it makes me feel so sorry for your partner. When you go to the gym, go together and workout separately. Take the time away from each other to work on, and have a relationship with, yourself. It will better strengthen the one you have with your partner in the long run and the present. 
3. Vibenomics. ​What is "vibenomics", this is a term a former boss of mine liked to use to describe how our energies and moods impact those around us. If you are a couple at a gym and you end up with tension between you due to a privately quiet argument, you can guarantee those around you will become uncomfortable and can not only see but feel the tension between you two. Hormones change and release with mood, so if you go from busting out reps at the gym to stopping to argue or get in a heated discussion, not only are you changing your own vibes but the vibes you are putting out. Those are going to make the vibes of the folks around you change as well. 
4. Mindfulness. This is something I see often as well, couples not giving AF about anyone around them. Really this one goes for A LOT of gym goers, but when it appears you're doing it "as a team," it is easier to spot and all to easy to focus negativity towards. Again, we all get it, you want to be near each other. Come in the gym and support WHILE you work. When you sit there and mess around with each other in the gym you are hindering those around you who possibly need to use the equipment you're on. The gym is a place for working, improving, and healing and those who go have different reasons for going. So please be mindful of those around you when exercising in a public facility. Or allow someone to jump in with you, it never hurts to share. Then you can play kiss face after. 
5. What is the gym to you? I ask this often and generally get the same answer, it's just the gym. Can I tell you that you are wrong? The gym is place you go to heal, to learn about yourself and the body that carries you. If you are going to be a couple in the gym, grow together in this if you are going to workout together. The gym should be seen as a safe place for individuals to go where they can work on their ailments, issues, frustrations, learn, relax, be guided to better a better body, lifestyle, habits, and even mindset. If you want to be that fit couple in the gym that everyone adores, do these things. 
6. Trust. This is one I see every single day. Ladies, we are the worst at this, stop dogging a woman who is working out or even WALKING by you and your man. Pointer tip for couples, if you can't trust one another to be twenty feet away and around a stranger then you have no business being together. This touches back on the "Me Time" point. It is a trust issue within yourself most time unless your partner has done something to invoke that thought for you. Don't bring this into the gym, it is so acutely uncomfortable to see a woman glare at you and cling onto their mans arm when you are just trying to do your thing. Some people are in the gym people watching while they workout. This does not mean they are scoping for their next heartthrob. 

     So my point here is simply this, if you are going to the gym as a couple joined at the hip and determined to push each other that is great! However, be mindful, stay focused, remember that it is okay to let your partner focus on something other than you. You're in the gym, not the wild where you need to protect them.