Is Social Media to Blame for Poor Communication Skills, or Were You Just Never Taught Them?

 When I was a child, we were always given space to feel our emotions and learn from them.
That space taught us how to understand ourselves — and, through that understanding, how to
show up for others. We learned to express with compassion. To listen with intention. To speak with awareness.That’s communication.
But as I get older and spend more time in my role as a lifestyle trainer, I hear a common refrain:
“Social media ruined communication.”
And while I agree — maybe 40 to 50 percent of the issue lies in how we scroll instead of speak, text
instead of talk — the rest of the problem?
It’s that we were never really taught what communication actually is.

🧠 Communication isn’t just words.Reading from a screen or page? That’s not the full story.
Saying words out loud? Still not the full story.
True communication includes:

• Tone of voice
  
• Facial expressions
  
• Eye contact (or lack thereof)
  
• Body language
  
• Nervous system regulation
  
• Your intention behind the words
  

When someone says, “I’m going to be more positive,” with a sarcastic tone and a tight jaw? I hear them.
But I also see them — and I don’t miss the dissonance.
(Shoutout to my 66-year-old client who tried that exact line and was shocked when I called it out. Yes,
Warrior. I noticed. I always notice.)
That’s because communication is more than what we say — it’s what we reveal.

✋ Some Basics of Real Communication:1. Body LanguageYour posture, your hand placement, your facial expression — they all speak before you do.
Are your arms crossed? Are you leaning in or pulling back? These silent signals carry weight.
2. Tone + InflectionThe how behind the words matters.
You can say “I’m fine” 100 different ways — and 99 of them mean you’re not. Tone reveals truth where
language can lie.
3. Eye ContactEyes tell stories. Are you looking at the person? Looking through them? Avoiding their gaze altogether?
Eye contact shows presence, confidence, or discomfort — and it’s deeply tied to nervous system safety.
4. PresenceAre you really there, or just waiting to respond? Real communication happens when you listen to understand,
not just wait your turn to talk.
5. Nervous System AwarenessCommunication isn’t just about clarity — it’s also about capacity. If you’re dysregulated, triggered,
or overwhelmed, you’ll struggle to listen and speak with empathy. Learning to pause and regulate is
key to connecting.

💡 Why This Matters — Especially NowWe live in a world that rewards quick reactions and surface-level soundbites.
But connection — true connection — takes more than that.
We’re not bad at communicating because we use phones.
We struggle because most of us were never taught how to slow down, listen to our bodies, and
speak from a grounded place.
Most people are reacting from past pain, unspoken stress, or survival mode — not from understanding.
And that’s why we miss each other.

🛠 So What Can We Do?

• Teach emotional awareness. Let people feel, name, and explore what’s happening internally —
  especially kids.
  
• Practice daily presence. Eye contact, breathing before speaking, and dropping your shoulders
  go a long way.
  
• Regulate before you respond. Communication without nervous system regulation becomes projection.
  
• Lead by example. Speak honestly. Say what you mean. And call out misalignment — with compassion,
  not shame.
  

You don’t have to be a therapist or an expert to be a better communicator.
You just have to care enough to learn.
And maybe, just maybe — if we can teach this generation how to really connect, we can stop
​blaming social media for a problem that started long before TikTok.